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How do Kerrymen forge 10p pieces?
They cut the corners off 50p pieces! |
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How would you get a Kerryman to climb on the roof of a pub?
Tell him the drinks are on the house! |
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How do you keep a Kerryman happy for an afternoon?
Write P.T.O on both sides of a pice of paper. |
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A kerryman, who had fallen into a lot of money,went to the Dr
with an injured leg.
"That looks nasty",said the Dr,"I'd better give you a local
anaesthetic".
"Hang the expense", said the Kerryman, "I'll have the imported
one!" |
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What do you call a Kerryman under a wheelbarrow?
A mechanic. |
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Have you heard about the Kerryman who had a brain transplant?
The brain rejected him. |
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What do you do if a Kerryman throws a pin at you?
Run like mad- he's probably got a grenade between his teeth! |
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A Kerryman won a round the world trip in a raffle.
He refused to accept the prize because
he said he had no way of getting back! |
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Did you hear about the Kerryman who saw
a notice reading:-"Man wanted for Robbery and Murder"?
He went in and applied for the job. |
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Have you heard about the Kerryman who damaged his health
by drinking milk?
The cow fell on him! |
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Why do Kerry dogs have flat faces?
From chasing parked cars. |
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How do you recognise a Kerry pirate?
He has a patch over each eye. |
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How do you recognise the bride at a Kerry wedding?
She's the one wearing white wellingtons. |
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Have you heard about the Kerryman whose library burnt down?
Both books were destroyed, and worse still one hadn't even
been coloured in yet! |
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How do you confuse a Kerryman?
Place three shovels against a wall and ask him to take his pick. |
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What are Kerry nurses famous for?
Waking patients up to take their sleeping tablets. |
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Have you heard about the Kerryman who cheated Irish rail?
He bought a return ticket to Dublin and didn't go back! |
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