Creepy Jokes

What do ghosts eat for lunch?

Ans     Ghoulash

Where do baby 
ghosts go in the day?

Ans: Dayscare centers!

What kind of mistakes 
do ghosts make?

Boo boos.

What's a haunted chicken?

A Poultry-gheist!

What do ghosts eat
for supper?

Ans Spook-etti

Who won the skeleton
 beauty contest?

No body.

What do ghosts
 serve for dessert?

Ans: Ice Scream.

If a ghost keeps walking 
into thing what should he get?


What do you call
 a ghost Doctor?

A surgical spirit.

What do ghosts
call their navy?

Ans   The ghostguard

Why didn't the
skeleton  cross 
the road?

He didn't have the guts!

What do skeletons
say before dining?

Bone appetite!

What do you get if you
cross Bambi with a ghost?


What's the first thing ghosts
do when they get in the car?

They boo-kle their seat belts.

What did the little ghost
have in his rock collection?


How do ghosts pass through
a locked door?

Ans  They have a skeleton key.

What did the mommy
ghost say to the baby ghost?

Don't spook till
you're spooken to!

What's Draculas
 favourite song?

Fangs for the memory.

Who has feathers
and goes quack?

Count Duckula!

What do they
call Dracula?

 A pain in the neck!

What does the
vampire fear most?

Tooth decay.

What's a vampires
 favourite tourist spot?

The Vampire State Building.

Where does Dracula water ski?

Lake Erie.

How can you tell
you're in bed with
count Dracula?

He has a big D on his pyjamas.

Why couldn't Dracula's
wife get to sleep?

Because of his coffin!

Where did the vampire
 open a savings account?

At the blood bank.

Why are vampires

Because they
are often bats

What's as sharp as
a vampires fang?

His other fang.

What kind of boat pulls
Dracula when he water skis?

A blood vessel

What is Transylvania?

Dracula's terror-tory.

What does a vampire
 take for a bad cough?

Coffin drops.

What's the difference between
 a wizard and the letters
 A S M K E?

One makes spells and 
the other spells makes!

What do you call a
wicked old woman
who lives by the sea?

A Sandwitch.

What do witches
put in their hair?

Scare spray.

What was the witches
 favourite subject in school?


Why don't witches
like to ride their
brooms when they're angry?

They're afraid of
flying off the handle!

Why did the witches team
lose at the baseball game?

Because their
bats flew away!

Why does a witch
ride on  a broom?

A vacuum cleaner
is too heavy!


How does a witch
 tell the time?
She wears a witch watch.   

Did you hear about
the girl monster
who wasn't very pretty
and wasn't ugly?

She was pretty ugly!

What's the monsters 
favourite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet.

What jewels do
 monsters wear?

Tomb stones.

What's pink and gray
and wrinkly and old and
belongs to Grandpa monster?

Grandma monster.

Why did the monster 
eat the light bulb?

He was in need
of a light snack.

Why are most monsters
covered in wrinkles?

Have you ever tried 
to iron a monster?

Why are monsters huge,
hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small
round and smooth
they'd be M&Ms

Why was there no food
left after the
monster party?

Because everyone was goblin!

Why do ghouls and Demons
hang out together?

Because Demons are
a Ghouls best friend!

Why did the
monster give up boxing?

Because he didn't want
to spoil his good looks!

What  does a monster
 do when he loses
a hand?

Goes to a second
hand shop.

Who did Frankenstein
take to the dance?

His ghoul friend.

What animal would
 you put in a 
washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf!

Where do Mummies
go for a swim?

The Dead Sea.

"Mummy, Mummy the kids
 all say I look like a werewolf!

"Shut up and comb your face."

What did one casket 
say to the other casket?

Is that you coffin?

What happened to the guy
who couldn't keep up
payments to his exorcist?

He was repossessed.

Why are there fences
around cemeteries?

Because people
are dying to get in.

What do you call a
person who puts poison
in a person's cornflakes?

A cereal killer

Why do Mummies
make excellent spies?

They're good at keeping
things under wraps!

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