Farmyard humour

Where do cows go on holiday?

Moo York.

Why did the bull rush?

Because he saw the cow slip.

What did the farmer call the cow that failed to give him any milk?

An udder failure.

What is the quickest way to count a herd of cows?

A cowculator.

What did the bull say to the cow?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

What game do cows play at parties?

Moosical chairs.

What do you call a cow eating grass?

A lawn mooer

What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?

Lumpy milkshakes.

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

What do you get if you sit under a cow?

A pat on the head.

What do you get if you cross a cow and an octopus?

A cow that can milk itself.

Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

Because she was afraid someone would Caesar.

Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food?

Because he was a little gobbler.

What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?

Pooched eggs.

What do you call  a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

What goes up in the air white and comes down yellow and white?

An egg.

What do geese watch on television?


What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?

An egg.

Why did the starstruck chicken cross the road?

To see Gregory Peck.

Why did the dirty chicken cross the road?

For some fowl purpose.

What happens when geese land in a volcano?

They cook their own gooses.

Why did the chicken cross the road at the fairground?

To get to the other ride.

When do ducks get up?

At the quack of dawn.

How do chickens dance?

Chick to chick.

Why can't ducks fly upside down?

Because they would quack up.

What kind of bird lays electric eggs?

A battery hen.

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick-layer.

Why did the rooster refuse to fight?

Because he was chicken.

Why did the farmer call his rooster Robinson?

Because he crew so.

How does a sheep keep warm in winter?

By central bleating.

What do you call sheep that live together?

Pen Friends.

Where does a sheep go when he needs a haircut?

A baa-baa shop.

How do sheep keep warm in winter?

Central bleating.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper.

Where does the sheep go when he needs a haircut?

The baa- baa shop.

What do you call a sheep with no legs or a head?

A Cloud.

Why did the sheep say moo?

She was learning a foreign language.

What did the well mannered  sheep say to his friend at the field gate?

After Ewe.

Why did the foal cough?

Because he was a little horse.

Why did the ram fall over the cliff?

He didn't see the ewe turn.

What do you give a horse with a cold?

Cough stirrup.

What smells worse than a pig in a sty?

Two pigs in a sty.

What did the ram say to his girlfriend?

I love Ewe.

Why didn't the piglets listen to their father?

Because he was a boar.

What do you say if you see a flying pig?

I see bacon is going up!

What kind of tie does a pig wear?

A Pig's tie.

What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar.

What has four legs and flies?

A Pig.

What's a pig's favourite ballet?

Swine Lake.

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon.

Why was the farmer hopping mad?

Because someone had stood on his corn.

Why is the farmer cruel?

Because he pulls the corn by its ears.

How do you find a lost rabbit?/

Make a noise like a carrot!

Back to Jokes Index

Back to The Playroom